WEBVTT

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Paisley: Hey everybody, welcome
back Paisley imperfect here and

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today, we're going to talk some
more about families, like most

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families that I know I am part
of a family group chat thread.

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It's not really a chat app, it's
a text thread, but whatever,

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whatever you want to call it,
call it a group chat. It's an

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interesting thread chat. I'm
probably gonna go back and

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forth. It's just annoying, but
it consists of both of my

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parents, who have been divorced
for over a decade, both my

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sisters and their husbands, my
brother and my husband and me,

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my brother and one of my sisters
are inactive and have been for a

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very long time. We share big
news. We share little things. My

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husband and brother in law like
to send funny videos and memes.

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My mom likes to update us on
little things that are going on

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in her life in Montana. And my
dad likes to send us pictures of

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his dashboard in Arizona when
he's hitting another record heat

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day it's just, it's, it's an
interest. We're, we're an

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interesting group, just like
anybody's family, right? On

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Saturday, I happened to be at
the beach. We had a ward beach

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thing Saturday morning, so I was
there, and my kids were playing

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with their friends. My husband
was digging in the sand, helping

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him build a sandcastle. A lot of
the people were out in the

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water. I just I found myself
alone, just kind of sitting

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there, enjoying the beach. And
my dad sent a text on this group

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chat, and he said I listened to
a very awesome conference talk

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just now. As you can tell from
the date It's an oldie but a

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goodie. I remember hearing this
talk originally, and it made a

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difference in my life. You
should listen to it. It will

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make a difference in your life,
too. And I was like, kind of

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looked around. I'm by myself, so
I'll pull it up. The first thing

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I noticed, it was dated 1979 My
dad called it an oldie, but a

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goodie makes me an oldie. Fine,
whatever. But then I also

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remembered that that's the same
year that President Kimball gave

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that awesome talk that we've
been talking about for months

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now. And so I was intrigued and
decided I was just going to read

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it. It was called, oh, gosh, did
I not even write down what it

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was called. It was called, thus
I have been taught, or something

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like that. Oh, hold on, I have
it right here. Therefore I was

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taught by Theodore a Theodore
Tuttle, therefore, I was taught.

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Okay, so I'm gonna, I want to
read one quote from it really

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quick, and as you listen, let me
know if this sounds familiar to

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you, how would you pass the test
parents, if your family was

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isolated from the church and you
had to supply all religious

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training. Have you become so
dependent on others that you do

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little or nothing at home? Tell
me how much of the gospel would

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your children know if all they
knew is what they had been

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taught at home? Ponder that I
repeat. How much of the gospel

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would your children know if all
they knew is what they had been

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taught at home, remember the
church exists and then in

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italics, to help the home
parents, the divine charge to

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teach has never been changed. Do
not abdicate your duty. Sound

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familiar? 1979 I was not quite a
year old when the talk was

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given. My parents would have
been 22 at that time. And then

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so 1979 and then President
Nelson, then focused on it again

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in October of 2018 when I was 39
and had a two year old and was

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pregnant with twins. So my
parents got this information,

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and now I'm getting this
information too. It's not new,

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it just had to be rebranded so
that we could see it again. All

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right, so here's another quote
from this talk. Excuse me, the

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Lord organized the family unit
in the beginning. He intended

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that the home be the center of
learning, that the father and

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mother be teachers. He has given
counsel that applies whether the

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family lives within or without
the boundaries of an organized

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unit of the church. He kind of
starts this talk referring to

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families who don't live within
an. Organized ward or branch. He

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talks specifically about
military families. There's a

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family out in India who did not
live close enough to a ward or a

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branch to be able to go and so
he's talking about how for them,

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it was already up to them. They
were their children's sole

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source of gospel education. And
then he cites four different

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scriptures as examples about the
council that's been given to the

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family. I'm not going to read
them here, but I'll tell you

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what they were, and then you can
go read them, and I'll make sure

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that they're linked in the
description Doctrine and

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Covenants. 6828 Doctrine and
Covenants. 9336 and 40. Mosiah,

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415, and Proverbs. 22 verse six.
Then he continues. The Lord

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fixed families to give parents
more influence on children than

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all other agencies combined.
There is safety in this

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arrangement. It provides parents
the privilege, the awesome

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privilege, of molding the
family, I'm sorry, of molding

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the life and character of a
child, even though outside

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agencies have influence. So as
parents, it's our job. It is why

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we are here to influence our
children. Now, again, I say this

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all the time. I'm not here to
judge you, your parenting style,

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your family, how you run things.
I don't care if you have family

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night on Monday night or
Saturday night or I'm not here

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to judge you and how you run
your family. I'm here to share

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something that you may have
missed. I mean, like I said, I

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wasn't even a year old when this
talk was given, I for sure

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missed it until now. So I'm here
sharing something I'm learning

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with you. Hopefully we're
learning this together. I

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apologize for the background
noise. Of course, the gardener,

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my neighbor's gardener, would
come right now. Okay, but did I

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really miss it because President
Nelson gave it again. So sure I

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missed it in 1979 but as a
parent, did I really miss it so

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39 years later, in October of
2018 President Nelson said it

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this way. He said, As Latter Day
Saints, we have become

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accustomed to thinking of church
as something that happens in our

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meeting houses supported by what
happens at home. We need an

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adjustment to this pattern. It
is time for a home centered

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church supported by what takes
place in our branch, Ward and

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stake buildings. And then, I
don't know if you remember, I

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didn't remember, but he,
President Nelson, introduced it,

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and then he turned it over to
elder cook to actually, kind of

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fill in the blanks, like give
the full overview of come follow

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me. Give, give us the
announcement that church was

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going from three hours down to
two, he turned it over to elder

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cook to do all of that. So elder
Cook said this, but there is so

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much more to this adjustment
than just shortening the Sunday

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meeting house schedule.
President Nelson has

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acknowledged with gratitude how
much is being accomplished as a

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result of your faithfulness to
previous invitations. He and the

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entire leadership of the church.
Desire to bring greater gospel

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joy to parents, children, youth,
singles, the elderly, new

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converts and those people. The
missionaries are teaching

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through a home, centered church
supported, balanced effort. So

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President Nelson and elder Cook,
they were a little bit less

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direct, maybe a little less
harsh than elder Tuttle, but

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basically they said the same
thing children should be

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learning inside the home, and
our efforts at church should be

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supporting what they are
learning at home. I'm going to

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go back to elder Tuttle for a
couple more quotes. Here's the

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first one. He said, We have been
counseled to become self reliant

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and independent. Temporally, it
is as important spiritually,

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suppose conditions changed.
Suppose you could not receive

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all the services to which you
have become accustomed. Suppose

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that much more responsibility
were placed on your shoulders to

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care for the spiritual welfare
of your family. Surely you

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cannot study the Scriptures
without knowing that perilous

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times are coming. Will you be
unaffected?

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We've seen that in our own
lives. Within the last five

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years, we have seen suppose you
could not receive all the

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services. Which you have become
accustomed remember when

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everything shut down and we had
to do sacrament meetings in our

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homes? Remember when all of the
services went away, except for

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those that were deemed
essential? We have seen that

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happen in our lives. Okay? So
just one more look at the

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timeline. 1979, elder Tuttle
gives the council. 2018

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president, now president,
President Nelson announces, come

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follow me and refocuses us on
home, centered. Church,

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supported church. 2019 is when
Come follow me begins. So they

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announced it in October of 2018
and it started in January of

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2019 and then in 2020 everything
shuts down, everywhere, and

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elder Tuttle's rhetorical
question became a reality for

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all of us. But now we are in
2024 living in a completely new

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normal, and yet, this last quote
that I'll share before I close

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is some of the best parenting
advice that I've seen. Elder

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Tuttle tells us how to do all of
these things. He asked all of

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those hard questions. He got us
all thinking like, oh, oh, my

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goodness. What if it was just up
to me? What if? What if we

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couldn't worship anymore in our
churches? What if it was just me

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and my kids? What then? What? So
here's what he said. He said,

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prepare now. Take steps now to
strengthen your family. And then

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he tells us how spend time
together, establish and maintain

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family traditions that build
happy memories, maintain a

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discipline with fair rules and
regulations, express

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unconditional love to one
another through word and act,

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develop within each one self
esteem and self respect by

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loving and believing in Him and
having him belong, provide

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security that children need.
These are the values of which

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life is made, establish these
and then we won't need to worry

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about the frills that so often
concern us. He boiled it down to

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love, teach respect and safety,
security. I hope that someday,

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oh, it's so much, it's so much,
but we can do it. Heavenly

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Father wouldn't have given us
that charge if we couldn't do

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it, and remember that he does.
He's not asking us to be perfect

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today, because being perfect
today or becoming perfect in the

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next year, 10 years, 20 years,
that's not the expectation. The

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expectation is not that we
become perfect. The expectation

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is that we keep trying and that
we have that daily repentance in

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our heart, that we are just
trying to get just a little bit

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better every day, just a little
bit better, and we don't have to

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be a little bit better in
everything every day. We can be

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a little bit better at our
prayers today and a little bit

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better at Repentance tomorrow,
and a little bit better at

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scripture study on Wednesday,
and a little bit better at being

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on time, I don't know, a little
bit better at whatever it is

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we're working on right, a little
bit better on at the Next thing

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on Friday. Little tiny steps.
That's the expectation. The

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expectation is not that we are
perfect today or tomorrow or the

00:13:47.500 --> 00:13:52.780
next day or 20 years from now. I
hope that someday my girls will

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think of me the way that Nephi
thought of his parents, that

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they were born of goodly
parents, that their mom did the

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best she could and taught them
everything that she knew. And I

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hope that they know that I have
a testimony of Jesus Christ. I

00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:18.600
also want to be able to teach
them how to recognize how to

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recognize the adversary in all
things. How to see him for what

00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:34.220
he is, as a destroyer of peace,
families love. He tries to make

00:14:34.220 --> 00:14:38.240
it look like he's making he
tries to make love look like

00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:41.920
something it's not. He tries to
make families look like

00:14:41.920 --> 00:14:46.000
something they're not supposed
to be, and he tries to make

00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:51.760
peace look like something that
will never actually produce

00:14:51.760 --> 00:14:56.380
peace. And I hope to be able to
teach my daughters that so that

00:14:56.380 --> 00:15:00.360
they can stand up against it and
know the difference. I. Yeah,

00:15:00.360 --> 00:15:05.400
but all I can give them is my
best, and hopefully a little bit

00:15:05.400 --> 00:15:10.680
better every day. That's all
I've got. And I truly believe

00:15:10.680 --> 00:15:14.280
that my heavenly Father knows
that. Thank you, my friends, for

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being here with me. I really do
appreciate your time. Keep

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learning, keep growing, keep
trying. We'll get there together

00:15:21.680 --> 00:15:24.560
and be of good cheer until next
time you.